Response to Adam Lambert Fans

I’ve taken some time to figure out if and how to respond to the overwhelming reaction to the Celebrity 101 post. The last thing I wanted to do was respond emotionally which is what got me into this in the first place. I’ve been hesitant to say anything because I fear that anything I say at this point will be misconstrued. I’m also hesitant because I don’t want to continue to fuel the negativity any further. The reason, however, that I am responding is for two reasons. One, I think sometimes we just want our voices to be heard and our feelings validated — I assure you, you have been heard and I understand – and two, I feel there’s a greater issue here that needs to be addressed.

First, let me say that many of your criticisms were valid. The post was an emotional response that I shared publicly. Was the comparison between celebrities in a public versus private moment poor? Absolutely. Did I properly and thoroughly explain the interaction? No. Were the feelings I shared genuine? Yes. Did my emotions get the best of me? Certainly.

However negatively it came across, that was my truth in that moment. The blessing and curse of a blog is that it’s out there immediately, typos and all. It wasn’t my finest hour. Never in a million years did I think that my rant in a weak moment would turn into what it did. But here we are.

I want to clear up one thing that may be irrelevant at this point, but it’s a comment that stuck with me. Some said I had a “personal vendetta” against Adam. There was no vendetta and there continues to be no vendetta. I said it before and I’ll say it again – I respect Adam as an artist, like his music, and appreciate how he’s used his platform.

While this whole experience has been a learning lesson for me in many ways, what is most upsetting is the cyber bullying that took place as a result, not just directed at me in the comments and via twitter, but also directed at anonymous commenters. The name calling was horrendous. It became clear to me quite quickly that there is a fan base who as one said “are way more than just fans,” a community of Adam Lambert followers who run the gamut from haters to lovers and everything in between and all around, and who amazingly all seem to know one another, if only online.

Those who criticized with respect were heard and appreciated – it was a fair assessment. When name calling and personal attacks come into play, it’s a dead end for discussion. How have derogatory names or threats of physical violence ever helped any situation?

The Internet is a crazy thing – it’s so easy to hide behind a screen name or a twitter handle and go on the attack. I realize the potential hypocrisy as many believe I did just that, but I respectfully disagree – I never called names. I never personally attacked, however off base or insensitive the feelings were that I exposed. I also don’t believe Adam, who has been vocal about anti-bullying campaigns, would like his ambassadors to be ridiculing, belittling, or calling names of anyone on a blog, whether it’s the writer or those commenting. It was incredibly sad to read the back and forth commentary that became so contentious and inflammatory. It was upsetting that the post was the conduit in allowing that to happen.

Cyber bullying is a very real thing and becoming all too common. My hope is that a negative can be turned into a positive. Moving forward, if we are engaging in the blogosphere, however fair or unfair, well-executed or poorly-executed the content may be, that we will do so with respect and dignity for each person’s opinion.

I’m certain that I haven’t addressed each and every criticism. I’m certain there will be critics of this response. And I’m certain that this response is not perfect. I’m human and there’s a person here behind the keyboard. I’m doing the best I can in a situation that I brought upon myself. I hope that we can move on so we can direct our energies in more positive pursuits.

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2,081 Comments

  1. Tammy Lee says:

    Hey there,
    My name is Tammy, Im from NZ and Im an Adam Lambert superfan who is heavily involved in the online ‘fandom’ and have been for a few years now. I was aware of your story even though i hadn’t read it. Im so sorry to hear you have been abused and bullied by other fans, its makes me very sad…..although not shocked. I also understand individual moments in time and how we perceive them and deal with them, and your feelings are real to you and therefore validated.
    I would like extend an apology to you from all fans that have treated you unfairly and badly. Bullying is not ok. And not what Adam is about, and it never used to be what Glamberts were about. He would not want this. Glamberts have an emotional investment in Adam, and I think events in the past till now motivate defense in many of us, but it goes to far. I want to see a change. I will also repost this on Twitter and facebook fanclubs.
    Much love and peace.
    @sweetonpeacexx

  2. Netmeg99 says:

    Lindsay.. I’m a Glambert and I totally understand what you are saying.. We as Glamberts have put up with A LOT!! and I mean a lot of hating on Adam sometimes we may get a little out of line and I should add that I am speaking for myself.. I can’t speak for others. In the beginning of this journey it was all out war .. The haters were everywhere we have calmed down a little in my opinion but when Adam’s honor is questioned we come to his defense. I appreciate your openness regarding your feelings getting the best of you if happens to the best of us..

  3. Sue Bullock says:

    Lindsay, well said. I agree with you re: the cyber-bullying. Respectfully disagreeing/criticizing someone is acceptable-bullying is not. Adam would be so disappointed at some of the comments his fans posted. Emotions run high in this fandom when it comes to “protecting/defending” Adam, as you quickly learned. Adam (the empathetic person he is) would say it was all coming from a “good place” (from our love/protective instincts for him), BUT the comments should not have been mean. I understand, you were upset, hurt by your perception that Adam blew you off just like David Copperfield had. It was like “salt” had been poured on an old wound & you reacted with emotion. We all do it! I knew instantly that I wanted to respond to you, to give you another perspective & more info/insight into Adam. Attacking you & discounting your feelings would have accomplished nothing. In fact, I wasn’t angry, my first thought was, “Oh, how sad that she has the completely wrong impression of Adam.” I hope we all learned something from this experience & can move forward, as you said, directing our energies toward more positive pursuits.
    Take care,
    Sue
    @SuesArtistry

  4. RedBessRead says:

    Hello (also from NZ),

    I too am sorry that you received abuse on your blogpost and agree with you that it is a deadend. Glamberts can be a passionate bunch but nothing justifies abusing another person. As Tammy said that is not Adam’s style at all and it shouldn’t be ours either.

  5. Gabi says:

    I am a devoted Adam fan, but I have no idea what the back story to this is. Regardless, reading your “apologetic” blog makes me feel bad. Adam stands for individuality, acceptance, freedom of expression and peace, and it is sad that our passion leads us to the other extreme sometimes. We Glamberts are a dedicated bunch – partly because there had been times when there was a definite need to stand up for our man – but many of us have to learn where to draw the line. Thanks for your write-up and thanks for reminding us to exchange opinions in a civilized matter. Bullying is never okay.

  6. Leigh says:

    A simple recognition by Ms. Taub of the lack of judgment she evidenced in her encounter with Adam Lambert would have been sufficient.

    I read every comment that was posted and noted nothing “horrendous.” The vast majority of the posts were civil (and even those were sometimes removed).

    There’s a tinge of “victimization” in this explanation, where it’s become more about cyber bullying than the exchange between Ms. Taub and Lambert and the overwrought criticism that followed.

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